Anyone But Me in Silence

By Maggie Mae Zerger

It was 2009 when I stumbled upon Anyone But Me. The show was in hiatus between its first and second season at the time. I was in a hiatus myself. My hearing loss was at a level that the technology of my then hearing aid was unable to amplify for me to hear most language that allowed me to discern words. I had another hearing aid coming in a week that was going to offer a better fit for my needs for amplification, but my love for all that is film would not let me sit idly in the meantime. I did not know if subtitles were available or want to wait to see Anyone But Me. The frustration of not understanding what words were being said and trying to guess what they were drove me to just turn the sound completely off. It is best to say that the first time I saw Anyone But Me, it was like watching a silent film. It is safe to say that I fell in love with the absolute beauty and integrity of the story as told through the actions of the actors.

The first important part of the story that was clear to me was the impact that distance was going to have on the main characters. That first season took me back to a time in my own life when I had first fallen in love and she was my world. I think anyone who can remember falling in love for the first time can remember that first love being like air. Back when love was so new and intense that any time apart from each other was gut wrenching heartache too unbearable to stand.  That first love was before there were any memories of broken hearts and you fell hard and fast in an almost immeasurable way. (If you don’t remember this, realize that if you ever have children at some point their teenage years will be a torment for you.) That was Season One for me in a nutshell and I was hooked on the show.

Where do I begin with the characters Vivian and Aster? Without any words I was taken on an emotional rollercoaster. Only an errantly hit golf ball has ever been yelled at like my computer was that first time I saw Season One. Phrases like, “How can you not pick up that phone?” or “Are you kidding me?” rained down on my monitor. This was all the work of the actors. Nicole Pacent sold me on the true complexity of her character. Aster was so multifaceted that I wondered when the film version of the show would hit a theater near me. So few characters are so well developed in any medium today and Pacent made Aster a living and breathing intricacy of love, fear, hurt, confusion, and self protection. No dialogue was needed to see this as Pacent conveyed every emotion so intelligently throughout each episode. Rachael Hip-Flores elicited tears on multiple occasions with her passionate portrayal of Vivian. There are no words to describe her talent to personify the simplest to the most complex emotions in such a way that it is near impossible for the viewer not to empathize with her character Vivian. Combined in the finale, I truly believe that kiss (you know the one when they first see each other in the bookstore between the stacks) was the teen lesbian version of Rhett and Scarlett. To this day I cannot watch the bookstore scene without tears welling up. The emotional journey solidified with the hope of a kiss on the street for all to see.

Tina Cesa Ward and Susan Miller consistently delivered a well produced series that displayed an honesty and understanding of teen life in today’s New York City. As much as I credit the touching love story that is Anyone But Me, I must give Ward’s direction a share of this acknowledgement. As I heard no dialogue of the series that first time I watched, I can only believe that Ward’s direction to Pacent and Hip-Flores was outstanding. As 90% of communication is non-verbal, both actresses delivered performance that deserved accolades. Ward kept the story realistic and honest in a way that is seldom seen in storytelling. Her guidance elicited what was the best love story of any medium in its time. Truly there are few instances where I can say lesbian characters are portrayed with such care and understanding. Ward deserved every kind word tenfold that was said about that first season.

I did get the hearing aid and I watch it with the dialogue and it still made me cry and still does pull the heart out of my chest in a way that no series ever has. If you have not seen Anyone But Me, you are missing out. You are missing the chance to see something so good that may never get repeated.